Everything feels so scattered today and I don't know why. I'm not normally a scatterbrained person and I can usually focus on things intently for a long time. Today though, I just don't want to do anything. Take that back-I want to go have drinks and not think about school, my friends, or my friends' dysfunctional relationships.

That's an interesting topic of discussion. How do you tell someone you love something that has been weighing on your mind but that will probably hurt them a lot? I want to be honest (I think it's the only way to be) but I'm not sure if said friend is going to be ready for honesty. And what happens if I tell them what I think and they run and tell their partner and then it all blows up in my face in an explosion of pain and anger? I don't think I'm ready for that. But then again, every time I see this friend and don't say something, I'm lying. But then AGAIN, it is their life and who am I to say how they should live it? Why am I so obsessed with this anyway? It's not my life.

But my friends are part of my life and I always feel like if I can impart some of the experience-based knowledge I have acquired to help them, I should. I would want them to do the same. Life is waaaay too short to not be completely satisfied with every single second you get to live it. If there's a nagging voice in your head that tells you, "You'd be so happy if....", you should listen to it and follow where it leads.

I guess I should listen to a little of my own advice on that one for sure. I'm getting better about it, but I need to just get a little more self-confidence and resolution in my dreams and not let fear (or frustration) dictate my actions. It's improving for sure, but days like today when I don't feel like doing anything bring me down. I guess that goes against my whole "life live to the fullest" mantra. I guess it's not so easy as it sounds.

Ugh. When is it time to drink?